I am a chauffer, maid, accountant, nurse, blog addict, teacher, friend, CFO, personal shopper to 6, scrapbooker, hairstylist, drill sargeant, dog trainer, cook, refrigerator stocker, toenail painter, baby chaser, seamstress, project coordinater, kindergarten volunteer, sprinkler adjuster, artistic director, meal planner, ballerina watcher, snot wiper, family gatherer, peacemaker, dishwasher, crap, I know there’s more, but it’s nearly 10 pm and I can’t think straight after a busy Sunday! Whoever thought Sunday was supposed to be a day of rest wasn’t a Mormon, and definately not a Mommy!
With all the other jobs there are to do in the day when am I ever going to have the chance to color coordinate my closet and actually catch up on all my kids scrapbooks? I guess if I stopped blogging the closets might get coordinated, but I’ll face the facts now, the scrapbooks will never, never ever be caught up!
I decided to tell you all about my ‘Perfect’ life because I often get told that I’ve totally got it together. My husband, being the actual perfect husband he is, always nods, says how wonderful I am and then turns around and snickers behind everyone’s back because he knows what a total wreck I am!
Truth be told, my main floor is *usually* clean. The baseboards will never be scrubbed down, but the toilet is always sanitary. (Trust me, even if your 3 year old finger paints the pot with the economy size hand sanitizer weekly, it is considered to be dang sanitized – a little sticky - but 99.9% bacteria free.) I’m too afraid that an actual adult will come to the door, wanting to have a real live ’adult’ conversation with me in the middle of the day and I’d have to turn them away because my dishes aren’t done. One can only take so much of waving bye-bye to a bowl full of pee-pee and talking about the Wonder Pets. I love when my friends stop in for a visit!
I hope to to share a daily dose of the good times at our house on this blog, gather ideas from my friends, both virtual and IRL, and give you all some great tips and tricks to fooling everyone into thinking you are the most put together, fantastic, most amazing mommy on the block.
Let’s get started….
Just one brief exciting moment to share before I get to lay down on my nice soft pillow for 6 hours of broken and interrupted sleep. (Really, when will snoring and baby-waking be cured?)
The other day I threw a baby shower for a friend. The food was on the table, the main floor was looking relatively spic-n-span and just as I was about to sink into the couch for a 3 minute rest before the festivities, and it dawns on me that I haven’t cleaned the bathroom. Now, if you actually read my mumblings above, Tootsie, my 3 year old really does like to finger paint with the hand sanitizer. Why don’t I take it away, you ask? Because she doesn’t want help washing her hands and I’m afraid of the germs and there is nothing worse than sick babies. And like I mentioned, with her help the toilet is 99.9% bacteria free. Back to business- not only does she paint the toilet, but often the mirrors and the light switch, the door knob and the cabinet doors and occasionally the doorstopper. She also likes to wipe up the mess with the hand towel, dipped in the toilet water of course, and then, being the perfect princess she is, she hangs it up all neat and tidy just like mommy taught her. (I know none of you are going to visit my bathroom ever again.)
So I jump up and grab my supply of sanitary wipes stored under the sink for a quick wipe down. The bathroom was scrubbed a few days before so I only needed to go over the fixtures, sink and toilet with one of those awesome Clorox Wipes. I love those things.
But here comes the kicker. The mirror had a wee bit of a hand swiped rainbow of either hand sanitizer or lotion or who knows what and my window cleaner spray bottle was no where to be found. Not under the sink where it should have been, not in the garage with other cleaning supplies, no where to be found, and the doorbell rings with a porch full of guests.
The only thing I can think of are the Armor All Auto Glass wipes I bought for DH’s truck. I’ve never bought them before, but it was his birthday and he loves his truck, so we bought him some cleaning supplies. I ran into the garage, grabbed a wipe – all the while thinking that it was just going to smuge the goo all over the mirror – and with a swoop-swoopity-swoop, the mirror was probably the cleanest it has ever been without a single smudge or streak. It was amazing!! You laugh, but seriously, I’m never going to be Windexing my mirrors or windows ever again. I went to Walmart the next day and bought some more and put cannisters under each of my sinks.
So there you go, my new favorite cleaning product:
